After
by uhohloveydovey
Summary: She wandered and wondered, not knowing when to stop, where to go. But when this day came, she suddenly knew she had to see them. So she wandered and wondered some more... until she could no longer hold on.
1. Wonders of the Past

If there's one last thing she's given a chance to see one last time, it's to see them happy.

What kind of life they're living, she wondered. How would she greet them if they see her?

She put her hand above the heart that's throbbing painfully.

She set her eyes before her - a very interesting city.

The sky was slowly being covered by dark, angry clouds.

It's alright. She remembers the route.

A smile formed at her lips, eyes closed as she reminisced.

Would they remember her, she wondered once more before moving forward.

**~'~**

No one remembers her, it seemed.

But that's alright. They're not _them_ anyway.

She passed a store and saw a silver perm. She smiled. She would like to have another parfait so she went inside... Only to find out he's with a companion. She thought she saw his companion living in the streets the last time she was here.

But that's alright. There's still time.

She passed by a snack house and saw it lit up. She smiled. As she walked inside, a beautiful girl in a short kimono welcomed her. Before she can reciprocate a greeting, a familiar face has shown up. It was the spy... and is he asking her for a date? They seemed to have forgotten about her as they locked themselves to their own bubble.

But that's alright. She can come back later.

She passed by a cabaret club and was stuck in the crowd. She smiled. She ought to excuse herself when another familiar face was thrown at the crowd before her. A pretty lady in a peach kimono smiles and raised her fists, walking towards the man. Kondou-san laughed affectionately as people ran away from the mess. Seems like he didn't notice her.

But that's alright. She doesn't want to interfere.

She passed by the Shinsengumi compound and was struck by its silence. She smiled. It's a perfect scene to surprise them! She sneaked in, feeling silly for acting like a thief, but she stood frozen when there's a large, white dog staring at her in the hallway. They stared at each other for a few more seconds before the dog barked, wagged his tail, and went back to where he came from. She followed.

From there, she can hear voices. One was dearly familiar, one was foreign to her ears. She peeked from the corner and saw a young man with glasses carrying a tray with two cups and a bottle. The other man put his cigarette in the ashtray and looked up. A rather deep voice, rough with an edge, said something that made the other smile and shake his head. The new voice sounds kind and gentle, a friend she didn't know he had. Her heart throbbed again but she pretended not to notice. They were seated at the _engawa_. They started talking silently after seconds of stillness and quiet. How she wished she could join them for a cup of tea with tobasco.

But that's alright. He seemed content with a slight smile on his face, and that's enough.

Strangely, the compound was empty except for the three she saw just now. No one was around. Maybe something's going on Kabuki district that's why she saw a lot of them in there? She was about to go back when she came across his room.

Her brother's room. She laughed. What kind of secrets she's bound to find? It's silly, really, but she missed him. Slowly sliding the door, she's not entirely surprised no one was inside. The room was clean and looked like it was properly maintained. His files were organized and no unmentionables were found anywhere. She felt prouder than ever, for raising this amazing boy who grew up to be an excellent young man.

But where is he? Hmm, is he on Kabuki District too, or he's patrolling on other areas? She sighed. And it's a special day, too.

She eyed the notebook sitting rather conspicuously at his table, the only one out of place. Sure, she may have poked through his things enough to make herself angry if she was in his shoes but this calls for an emergency as she has no means of contacting him. Yes, definitely an emergency.

She opened the notebook and a little skim was all it took to know it's some kind of journal with reports in accordance to date. From the first pages, he was always keen on obliterating a certain Vice Chief which made her laugh, catch a suspicious long-haired samurai, protecting Kondou-san and torture Yamazaki. It's all about Shinsengumi and his division... until she reached the middle part. Silver, glasses, dogs, and a certain redhead that keeps on popping up whenever he reports to his patrols in Kabuki district. Curious.

Just when she turns a page, a note fell from the notebook. Confusion etched to her face as she reads his itinerary for the day.

**May 26**

**6:00 am - **morning practice

**8:00 am - **pester china / Kabuki District Anniversary

**11:00 am - **bomb Hijibaka's patrol car

**1:00 pm - **annoy china / Afternoon patrol at the park to the bridge

**3:00 pm - **flower shop / spot any plain guy with anpan

**3: 30 pm - **snacks and spice shop

**4:00 pm - **cemetery

**6: 00 pm - **compound

**8:00 pm - **evening training / escape from Kondo-san's bedtime story

**11:00 pm - **_aneue_

* * *

**Happy [belated] birthday, Mitsuba-chan!**

**This was supposed to be a short one shot, what happened?**

**Wish me luck to end this next chapter, I don't write angst, ugh.**

**Chunchun**


	2. Glimpse of the Future

It was a little distant, so she had to stop by to see if she was on the right path. People don't respond to her; she had to check for street signs. It was a little over 4, he must be there already. Sou-chan is always precise about time. Always has the right timing.

She smiled. Her little brother has always been picky, too, almost at everything...

She tilted her head. She followed the signs but... Is she in the right direction? All she could see were trees, as she were near a small forest, the air was a little humid, and a blur of white- wait, that was the dog from before! Did he follow her here? My, how cute of him, he reminds her of Sou-chan.

The dog barked, it's like before, saying 'follow me'. So with an air of companionship and trust, she followed. Along the way, people would come from the direction she's walking to. Silence surrounded them, as heavy as their Shinsengumi coats. No one recognized her.

She found the dog with a young girl who wore a Chinese outfit. "Sadaharu! What are you doing here, yes?" The girl laughed as her dog licked her face. A pale, small hand reached out to pet the large mutt. The wag of its tail was enough proof that they have a beautiful relationship.

She smiled. She couldn't really help it with the scene before her.

She was about to go when the girl turned to her direction. She looked surprised. Both of them paused. The girl smiled. "Are you also going to the cemetery, miss?"

It's like her vision became clear. Someone finally talked to her and she's a gorgeous girl with a lovely dog... 'Also'?

"Yes, would you kindly point the way, miss China girl?" The girl blinked. Didn't she like her nickname for her? Her unease was washed away by a seemingly innocent smile of the girl.

"Sure, yes! It's there, by the way. It'll be tiring but I'm sure it's worth it!" Her energy reminds her of a certain special unit of officers. Her pale hand pointed to the stairs near them. Ah, it was an upper level? She really has to familiarize herself if she'll keep visiting here. "I'm Kagura, yes. What's yours, lady?"

"My name is Mitsuba. Nice to meet you, Kagura-chan. It's a beautiful name."

"Hmph! Of course, Mami gave that to me, yes! She's also beautiful but she's already in heaven."

It's amazing how the girl talked about her mother tenderly even when she's gone. "Oh, are you visiting her? Sorr-"

Kagura shook her head as she pulled a red strip of sukonbu. "Nu-uh, this is my first time here. Gin-chan has already been here and Patsuan occasionally visits his father and brother with _anego_, yes. So I got curious, especially since that sadist said something about this place." Kagura looked at her, blue eyes and all, the opposite of what the sky looked like at the moment. "Why are you here, Micchan?"

Mitsuba decided she loves that nickname.

"I'm actually looking for someone. But it's strange, our family is buried at Bushu and Sou-chan doesn't have many friends. Hmm..."

"Aren't you supposed to ask the police, Micchan? There are tax robbers here who act like jerks but they're pretty reliable, yes. D-don't tell them I said that though!"

A laugh then a sigh. "If only it were that simple, Kagura-chan."

They reached the top and stopped at the pavement. The cemetery was surrounded by various trees with a pretty sturdy fence to set its boundaries. They walked some more until they stopped at a rather hidden part, around the corner of the cemetery. There was thunder after the lightning. A figure, hunched but still, could be seen in front of a gravestone that looked good as new.

"I originally went because of my curiosity, yes?" Kagura started. Micchan squinted her eyes to the familiar figure just seconds away from them. "But I realized Gori and Mayo freak came from somewhere this morning that made them look serious, so we, the Yorozuya, had to punch them back into their goofy selves. Their faces were scary, yes."

The hunched figure poured something from a red bottle to two cups.

"_Anego _volunteered to play with the gorilla. Patsuan must be really tone-deaf now because he's listening to Mayo Prince. Gin-chan is buying gifts, but I couldn't wait so I went here before them. I may have slid a paper or two from Gin-chan to buy this limited-edition sukonbu."

Next, he opened a snack and filled the plate with red crackers.

"Strange, isn't it Micchan? I was excited to meet a person no one talked about and yet, they keep on remembering her, visiting her, giving her these spicy crackers and tobasco sauce whenever there's an occasion, yes."

The young man put his forehead at the gravestone.

Lightning. Thunder. Lightning. Rain.

**Here lies Okita Mitsuba.**

**Our beloved, always in our hearts.**

Mitsuba's hands went to cover her gasp, forgetting to wipe the tears of the rain.

"He suddenly popped out of nowhere near the bridge, yes. 'Cemetery, sunset.' I punched him because he didn't say the reason, and his face became scary too, like Gori's and Mayo freak's earlier."

Mitsuba blinked at a handkerchief in front of her. She looked at Kagura, who stepped closer to shelter both of them from the rain. It wasn't the tears of the rain, then... It was the tears she knew all too well. The tears of separation, the whisper of goodbye.

She accepted the handkerchief, but the rain won't stop, because there was an umbrella, because they were there.

"He said, '_Aneue_ didn't get to meet everyone. Have to let her know I'm fine or she'll worry herself sick, slowpoke.' Who's he calling slowpoke? I'm not a slowpoke, yes?"

She couldn't respond. Both of them quietly watch Sougo say his prayers under the rain.

But it's alright. She now knows that from the start it's all about her and her selfishness.

Kagura was still looking at Sougo, so she didn't have a counter to Mitsuba's hug attack. "Thank you, Kagura-chan." Just when she was about to hug her back, just when she's about to say, 'Goodbye, Micchan.', just when she's about to give her the small box of sukonbu, she was gone.

"China, what are you doing, robot dance?" Kagura put her hand down. She was pissed off. It pisses her off that she can't see well but it's definitely not tears. It pisses her off that there was that indifference in his voice. It pisses her off that he's stopping himself to feel.

Kagura stomped off to him, putting the umbrella in front of them, and offering her limited-edition spicy sukonbu.

"How long were you there? Didn't you hear 'sunset' or were you really deaf? And where-"

"Shut up, yes! I'm constipating here."

"Careful there, China. It's 'concentrating', right?"

"Shut up already, you sadist!"

Kagura clapped her hands and stilled. She closed her eyes and muttered some kind of black spell.

"Oi, oi, do you even know what you're doing?"

Seconds of silence later, she opened an eye and oh so slightly looked at him. "Teach me."

Sougo kept a poker face. He resisted to look at her. "Huh, what did'ya say?"

"I said teach me how to do this thing, you heartless brat!"

"Hey, you're the heartless one here, you brat."

"Ungrateful Chihuahua."

"Gluttonous Pig."

The redhead was ready to punch the bastard beside her when Sougo clapped twice and solemnly muttered whatever it is he said. "_Aneue_, please forgive this pig. My pet doesn't know it's position yet- Ow, what the-"

"Act nicely now, damn it."

Sougo sighed. "Whatever works fine. I already forgot how to do this since I moved out of Bushu. Besides..." Sougo stared at the carvings engraved at the gravestone. _She's happy as long as she sees I'm not alone._ "Why are you not using your umbrella, anyway? You look ten times poorer."

"You look like a lost puppy. And if I stay dry then we're not level anymore. Or what, are you saying you're not deserving to be my rival anymore?"

It was a daring move. Kagura could feel reddish-brown orbs drill holes to her. Sougo's eyes went to her pocket.

"I'm saying that you're so careless to have your things wet. Drenched papers are hard to use, y'know." Kagura knitted her brows in confusion. Why is there a folded paper in her pocket? Sougo lifted her umbrella in an effort to lessen the damage of the rain while Kagura unfolded it.

"Ah."

"Ha?"

_Dear Sou-chan,_

_How are you, living in this big city of Edo? It really is amazing in here! I think there's a lot less pollution. Do you think I can live here with you now? I was so excited, there are so many interesting things with different kinds of people... I hope you're not robbing yourself of this, Sou-chan. I'm alright now, I feel a lot better, ever than before. So tell me, my little cute brother, are you happy here?_

_Your eyes that have seen so much, your sturdy back, your scarred body, these don't define you. To me, you have so many flaws that you use to strengthen yourself. To me, you are the person who always acts childishly but never acted without a good reason. To me, you will always be a child who doesn't know how to properly express his feelings. But that's alright. No matter what they say, I'm very proud to have a little brother like you, Sou-chan. And I have no more to say because you're already grown so much. Seems like I can't keep up with time._

_Give my regards to them, your friends, the people who live with you, fight with you. With these people, you're never alone._

_Thank you for the crackers and tobasco, you really know how to make me happy._

_But I'll only smile if I see you happy. You wouldn't want me to come out from the grave, do you? I wouldn't want to come out from a well._

_Did you know? Love is the greatest treasure you can find in this world._

_My beloved, always in my heart._

_Love,_

_Mitsuba_

"... She was really pretty."

"I know."

"Just so you know, I didn't write this, yes."

"I know. This paper came from my journal."

"... She'll like spicy sukonbu, yes?"

"I know."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"She already likes you, brat."

"Eh? Wha-"

"Anyway, where's the handkerchief?"

"Oh, the one that made you finally say-"

"Where. Is. It."

"I gave it back to its rightful owner. See, I'm very kind, yes?"

"I know."

"Gah! Did you just-"

"No, I didn't."

Kagura lifted the umbrella from Sougo's hold and placed it like before, sheltering the offerings and the gravestone, even though they're already drenched.

"Raindrops are like tears, aren't they?" Kagura looked up, meeting the pouring rain head-on with a flash of familiarity in her eyes. "I don't really know how to differentiate tears from rain, yes."

It's alright to cry, Sadist.

"... I know." Sougo opened his fist and let himself feel the rain. They're definitely tears. From rain or his, he doesn't know. "I know."

Thank you, China.

~'~

There was a particular area of the cemetery where all you can see was red. Sometimes there'll be black, others light brown. This time, there were too many colors: silver, blue, purple, white, peach... If combined, they all will bunch and look like flowers. The centerpiece of it all was red. In the end, it was all about red.

"Gin-san, you didn't go to the _pachinko_ parlor did you?"

"Eh? Wasn't I supposed to double it to buy more gifts?"

"Shin-chan, what's that white thing on your chin?"

"Blurgh, I don't think I can eat mayonnaise the same way again..."

"Oi Madao, give me some chuubert. I gave my sukonbu away."

"Oi Madao, give me the end part. It has more than the other."

"Eh? But doesn't that leave me with nothing? You two already took everything from that festival!"

"Gintoki-sama, Otose-sama is asking if you brought her cigarettes."

"I did, but did that count as an offering? That old woman.."

"That was an offering? I got one- ah where's my mayo-lighter?"

"Die Hijibaka-san."

"Now, now, let's all calm down, Toshi, Sougo."

"Why are you letting this stalker walk with Tae-chan?"

"If you're talking about me, it's because Gin-san and I are already married."

"Kyubei's talking about the Chief, Sarutobi."

Sougo paused. Before he steps down, before he leaves, he wants to show his sister how he's doing. So he looked back... And saw his sister standing beside all the colors.

She smiled.

He smiled.

She waved.

He turned.

And saw Kagura waving as well.

Sougo looked at the paper, then to the people waiting for them.

_I know. Thank you, _aneue.

* * *

**I somehow managed not to make it a three-chapter story (nervous laugh while wiping sweat away)**

**There's a reason why I only made Tama, Sadaharu, and Kagura see Mitsuba. It's connected to why Sougo saw her at the end.**

**The cemetery at the Gintama's second movie: Yorozuya: Eien Nare seems to suit my taste (or what I have in mind)**

**I really don't know how to write angst**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Again, happy birthday Mitsuba! Love love love.**

**Chunchun**


End file.
